Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
