My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My balls are so social today.
why do cheetos always look like penises
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
