Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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