true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize