Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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