So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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