I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
