is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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