i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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