I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
