Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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