i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize