My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
