i may or may not be watching the land before time
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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