We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My pussy is not your playground.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
