im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
