Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
