So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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