I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
