the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
two words...techno handjob
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
