He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
