are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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