Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
