I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just had sex on a roof
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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