are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
