I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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