All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
