btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
