sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
