If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
