4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You have to summon your inner elephant
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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