You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
