He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
