remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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