bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize