So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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