My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
