He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
