YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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