I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I would ride that face into the sunset
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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