The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
