So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
