Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
