dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
