Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
