also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
