this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
