those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize