i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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