First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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