Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Randomize
