If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
