All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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