we're blogging at a bar
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize