Already got asked if we're dating
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
