I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
