Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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