Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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